St*ff Groundhogs Say

Anne Senft | Last Updated: December 23, 2015

With Groundhog Day just around the corner, we wanted to take a moment to look at the world from the critter’s point of view. So, if groundhogs could actually talk, what might they say? This video poses one possibility.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysR9GbFyGcI&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

Hmmm…I’d like to think that groundhogs wouldn’t be that annoying. Here’s what I believe they’d say:

Please don’t ask me how much wood I chuck.” – Groundhogs are also known as woodchucks. However, “woodchuck” comes from an Algonquian name for the animal, wuchak. They don’t actually toss wood.

“How you doin’?” – Contrary to popular belief, when male groundhogs emerge in February after their three-month-long hibernation, they aren’t checking on the timing of spring. Nope. They’re looking for some love.

“I’m cool as a cucumber.” – While hibernating, a woodchuck’s body temperature can drop from about 99 degrees to as low as 37. (Humans go into mild hypothermia when their body temperature drops a mere 3 degrees, lose consciousness at 82 degrees and face death below 70 degrees.)

“Where’s the salad bar?”– During warm seasons, a groundhog may pack in more than a pound of vegetation at one sitting, which is much like a 150-pound man scarfing down a 15-pound steak.

“I can dig it.”– On average, the animal will remove a remarkable 700 pounds of soil to make a burrow. The burrow is pretty extensive and may have several rooms, one to three openings and span a total of 25 to 35 feet.

“Michael Phelps has nothing on me.” – In addition to being great at burrowing, groundhogs are stellar swimmers. They’re also expert tree climbers, especially when chased.

And, last but not least…

“Yes, I do like ‘Groundhog Day’, the movie.” – Well, who doesn’t love a flick starring both Punxsutawney Phil and Bill Murray?